RAKSAB*

The Friday before Wes moved out, I had to be at work for a Site Initiation Visit.  Twelve hours after we decided he would be leaving and forty eight hours before he actually left, it goes down as one of the hardest days I've ever had to face.  That's the problem with work though, it doesn't take a hiatus to accommodate a crumbling personal life.  I'd like to say that I rallied like a champ on this day but I think realistically (and optimistically) the best that can be said is that I pulled it together.  Site Initiations are not the most active of days, they require a lot of sitting around, answering questions as they arise and basically watching someone else check things of their list. It's not the kind of day that you can lose yourself in being busy and it's THE WORST kind of day to have when your head is a dark, twisty, sad place.

We broke for lunch and I found myself standing alone in the conference room frantically wiping away tears and trying to muster the strength to wrap myself tightly enough around my aching heart to regain some measure of control.  As I stood in that corner, Erica, one of the Clinic PCA's walked in, took both of my damp hands in hers, looked me straight in the eye and said: "Anna, I don't know what it is, but all you have to do is keep breathing until it's over." She gave me a hug and walked back out into the hallway to get on with her day.

She never mentioned it again and has never asked what was wrong or asked for any kind of explanation.  It was a moment of kindness that got me through a really terrible day and gesture that I probably won't ever forget. 

I don't know why I feel compelled to share this now, I don't even know why I remembered it this morning.  Maybe enough time has passed that I can see it a little more clearly or maybe it just needed to be remembered out loud.

*RAKSAB: Random Acts of Kindness, Senseless Acts of Beauty