It's never too late to resolve

I've changed my mind about not having New Years Resolutions. It's a position reversal to be sure but it's still less than 30 days into the new year and if I'd purchased my no-resolution position in the store, I'd still be able to return it for a full refund. And if it weren't so soon after the new year?  I'd still get to change my mind anyways because I've decided that I get to do that.

At the behest of a few fabulous friends, I do here and now declare my 2012 Resolution:

I will stop being friends with people who routinely insult me.

Not to be too dramatic but this places more than a few people on the chopping block, so you best check yo'selves be fo' you wreck yo'selves.

Several methods of ex-naying these non-friends have been suggested. My favorites include a Facebook status update (a la "if you would like to know the status of our friendship, please check FB at midnight...") followed by a mass un-friending.  Oh if I had it in me I would, but I don't, so I won't.

More likely than a Facebook maneuver (yet incrdibly unlikely over all) is a form letter that almost certainly would warrant a submission to PassiveAggressiveNotes.com (Dear Ex-Friend, it has come to my attention that you are an asshole.  According to my records you were an ass on the following occasions...)

So, while I can't tell you for sure the method by which I'll be implementing this resolution, most likely I'll just stop returning phone calls (take that for passive aggressive!) but if you are one of those who feel compelled routinely comment on my weight, the worthiness of my work, the things I find enjoyable or the way I choose to live my life, we will be parting ways sooner rather than later.

Life is just WAY too short to spend with it  people who rob me of my joy or make me feel like less than I am.