FTFR

FTFR: whatever that chain letter that you just emailed me promised you? IT WON'T DELIVER!!


Now I understand that moments hesitation when you read it and think:

"hrmm...what IF Bill Gates really WILL send me an unrealistic amount of money to ping this email to 50 of my closest friends?"

Or

"could it really hurt to send this on?"

I beg of you though, push through that moment and remember the the respective answers are: "no he won't" and "yes it will, because if it won't, I will."

I understand that these emails are geniously crafted to beguile and draw you in but please...resist.

Those 'rules' that suck you in as soon as you've laid eyes on them that warn you "there's no turning back!" or "this is the real deal!" They are lies. You CAN and MUST turn back. You will not have 80 years of bad luck because you did not piss me off by clogging my inbox, rather you've invoked my ire which truthfully, should scare you more than a lifetime of hypothetical bad luck.

Apologizing at the beginning of the forward for forwarding it in the first place? Yeah, that's not conciliatory at all. Just like The Rock says, "it doesn't matter!"

Please oh dear jeebus...unless it made you laugh out loud...don't send it on.

And too the next person who sends the "Footprints in the Sand" forward to me? I will re-forward it back to you as many time as a day, for as many days as it takes to bring you to your knees to make it stop.