oh the things that you will learn

Karen: God. My hips are huge!

Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.

Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.

Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.

Regina: My pores are huge.

Karen: My nail beds suck.

"I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body."

- Mean Girls

 
Like most women in their twenties, I'm pretty good at cataloguing my physical flaws. Actually, if psychological self abuse was an olympic sport, I'd probably have a decent shot at a gold medal.  After four years of college prep school and another solid decade living in a climate where minimal clothing is not only acceptable but at times, essential, I'm extremely proficient at identifying my own physical flaws. 
 
So imagine my shock, imagine my amazement when in the course of conversation I discovered something that had never even crossed my mind to be insecure about: nipple placement.
 
A friend of mine recently saw a plastic surgeon in consult (ludacris in and of its self) and was told that she had good nipple placement.  Correct me if I'm wrong but good nipple placement in turn implies that there is such a thing a bad nipple placement. 
 
Seriously? SERIOUSLY!?  The mind literally whirls with dismay.
 
Do we really need to add nipple placement to the list of things to worry about when / if someone sees you naked?
 
Sometimes I'm just not sure that this is a world that I am okay with living in.