Monday Observations

1.) Staring at some inspirational poster with kittens at 8 am while some quack in scrubs masquerading as a Gynecologic Oncologist takes a hole-punch to your cervix is a less than ideal way to begin a week.

2.) "It's only a smaaaaall pinch" line only works the first time before I know better than to doubt you... by the 9th time, I know you're lying.

3.) If the loudest part of your laugh is the inhale, please understand that I am most likely laughing AT YOU. It's not personal - I promise

4.) When your four year old son pipes up from the backseat on the way to pre-school and says "freak me more!" It's probably time to re-think the music you listen to with him in the car. :)

5.) In the event that you do not want to place your phone on mute because it gives you great personal satisfaction to know that we are all listening to your snarfly breathing, you MAY, just may, want to refrain from any of the following:
- saying "this is sooooooooooooooo boring!" (HILARIOUS!)
- farting