I love Splenda. Yep, that little yellow package of chemicals specially designed to be indigestible by my digestive system sits disturbingly high on the list of technological discoveries that I would not want to live without. (Also on the list are air conditioning [common, I live in
Apparently (according to my googling) the top ten ‘causes’ of cancer are as follows: tobacco products, carcinogens, viruses, bacteria, genetic predisposition, nutrition, advanced age, sunlight, cellular phones and oral contraceptives. Some of these are quasi no-brainers. Tobacco (it’s covered in explicit warning labels,) and carcinogens (which are actually defined as “a substance or agent causing cancer.” My only response to this massively redundant point is an oh so eloquent….duh. Virus’ (like the Human Papilloma Virus [HPV]) and bacteria (h. pylori) are far more frightening, if only because we cannot control them. Emphasis falls almost solely on prevention and education since these viruses cannot be cured (only controlled) once contracted, and bacteria are largely opportunistic, generally infecting tissues weakened by already established cancer. Genetic predisposition, advanced age and sunlight?!?! I guess we’re all just screwed. Cellular telephones: I really thought that this one had been debunked; apparently it still proliferates despite a distinct lack of reliable proof. Nutrition (and obesity) has a pretty valid claim, I think we can all agree that prolonged disregard of the nutritional needs of your body will result in some less than pretty and positive outcomes. So we come to my favorite, oral contraceptives. Oral contraceptives are perhaps the most frustrating of all that make up this not-so-comprehensive list of carcinogens. Studies have shown that prolonged use of oral contraceptives increases a woman’s chances of breast, cervical and liver cancers. Simultaneously it decreases their chances of ovarian and endometrial cancer. WTF?! If you are like me, this list probably frustrated you a bit, makes you feel a bit helpless that some of the leading ‘causes’ of the terrifying C-word are things that you cannot control. Is that why we continually claim to have “figured it out?” Comfort in ‘knowing’ where it came from but impotent to change it?
Now I’m not saying that we should stop looking, or searching or asking these questions. (Heck - I'd be out of a job.) I’m not suggesting that we stop adjusting individual (and often inane or inconsequential) behaviors and commit to healthier more sustainable lifestyles. I’m suggesting that we stop pretending like we have all the answers. I’m suggesting that next time a smoker is diagnosed with lung cancer that we not all sigh internally and think “well, they should have stopped smoking.” If we’re going to take that attitude then we’re going to have stop going outside during daylight hours, eat a raw food diet (heterocyclic acid found in cooked meat = bad,) avoid alcohol, oral contraceptives, cellular phones and mass transit (bacteria proliferates after all.) No more Splenda, fluoridated water (i.e. all water,) caffeine, pasteurized or unpasteurized milk or x-rays when we break bones. If you burn your toast? Don’t eat that either. Also…stop masturbating, that’s been linked too.
It’s a frustratingly comprehensive list that’s discussed in the most absolute of terms. I know that articles espousing “now that we know the cause…we know the cure” are written to give hope to those battling a terrifying and dangerous disease. I don’t mean to demean or belittle that hope. They need it and we all need it. But does admitting that we don’t know it all yet preclude hope that there is a cure? That there are answers?
As for me, I’ll eat my orange every morning for breakfast, and wash it down with my foamy/fizzy coffee with Splenda.
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