History shows us that we live in a world that has born and continues to bear witness to unimaginable suffering stemming anywhere from quirks of nature to ignorance and hatred. In terms of ranking, a broken heart doesn’t even register on the same scale as genocides, extreme suppression of expression and the denial of basic human rights, or true social tragedies. Nevertheless, mending a broken heart, a hurt that seemed indeterminable, has given me respect for and belief in the resiliency of the human soul.
A few months back, a person very dear to me walked out of my apartment and out of my life with no warning and very little true explanation. While I have always considered myself to be independent and strong, this loss laid me to a low that I had never experienced before. Generally a proponent of keeping personal issues away from the work place, I crumbled and spent days sitting in my coworkers’ cubicles just to be close to another human being while I grieved. I lost 30 pounds distressingly fast, cried in public more often than I ever would have considered acceptable, watched all 5 seasons of Grays Anatomy on DVD, left town every weekend for months and lost interest in everything from food, to sleep. As it always does though time passed and the fog slowly lifted. My soul began to heal.
This experience, though it may seem trivial in nature to some (and it is in some ways, though not in others) opened my heart to what my eyes see every day at work: how extraordinary the ability of the soul to heal truly is. Cancer (and its subsequent treatment) is a disease that emerges unexpectedly and has the ability to wreak havoc upon every aspect of a person’s life. I watch as adults and children alike suffer physically and mentally because of a genetic mutation that despite our best efforts, we can neither prevent nor explain. It is the epitome of senselessness. In this particular instance however, I speak not of the patients themselves but of their caretakers and families for the simple fact is that most of the patients I come in contact with, do not survive. Their families however, not only suffer psychologically in watching a loved one struggle, but they continue to suffer long after the disease has run its full course. Yet time and time again I witness these families turn their hurt into doing incredible good in the world. They volunteer both time and money to a wide range of charities. They return to say “thank you,” “hello”and“just checking in” to the nurses and doctors who cared for their loved ones. They support and continue the good things their loved one once did, and they add their own on time. They hurt, they grieve, they heal, and ultimately, they thrive.
Through this suffering however, time and time again I have been privy to triumphs of the human soul both large and small. I’ve seen people with more reason than most to be depressed, actively combat it and find the good, the hopeful, the funny and the redeeming. Through physical illness, financial hardship, crumbling relationships and wavering social structures these people stumble and sometimes fall but get back up, to fight another day. Many of the patients do die, but some do survive. I truly believe that those who do not, live on not only through their families and friends, but also through those of us who were lucky enough to meet them, even if towards the end of their life.
Hurt, whether exacted upon us by nature, by pure twist of fate, by other people or by ourselves inevitably leaves its mark. The time needed to grieve and deal can’t ever be predetermined but time taken to truly do so has a remarkable result: the soul heals. The wound made on my heart all those months ago is still healing, and I have no doubt that there will probably be a small scar to help me to remember. Still, the fact that something as simple as the warmth of the sun and a cup of coffee can bring a smile to my face again gives me hope for those who are currently grieving and those who will have to grieve in the future. They will suffer while their grief and despair run its course, but they will emerge on the other side, albeit one scar heavier, to enrich the world with the contribution of their life to the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment