I was listening to NPR on the way to work the other morning and I heard a story about bullying. A few months back a 15 year old high school freshman in Massachusetts committed suicide rather than face going to school and be bullied even one more day. What is this? WHY is this?
When I was in graduate school and I would tell people that I was going to be a middle school teacher the reaction (unless I was speaking to another teacher) was almost always the same horrified "why?!" This reaction was almost always immediately followed by a personal recollection of being weggied/swirrlied/teased/embarrassed OR a completely inappropriate and unnecessary explanation of how little money I could expect to make in the coming years. I disregard the commentary regarding money partially because it isn't pertinent to the topic at present but mostly because it's asinine and also rude to respond to someone else s dreams with your own financial hangups. Towards the other end however, I came to realize that our society at large has a collective horror of secondary school and often from this horror stems disrespect and disdain for those who voluntarily return to it as teachers. So while it doesn't surprise or even really worry me that most people remember their time in middle and high school with no small measure of trepidation, it is only in recent years that students are responding to this social construct with bombings, suicides and massacres. This frightens me.
What scares me most about this "trend," for lack of a better term, is the complete lack of understanding or even consensus on it. People talk about bullying and proffer that it has always existed, which leaves us wondering if the bullying is getting more severe or if the victims are getting weaker. Are we perpetuating bullying in adolescence by exposing our children to gratuitously violent TV, movies and video games? Or are we doing them a disservice by perpetuating every difficulty, every hiccup and every challenge with a diagnosis and intervention? Do we need them tougher? Or are they are too tough?
I read about how communities are looking towards the superintendents of school districts, the principles and the teachers looking, in their grief for explanations, for solutions and for scapegoats. They desperately try to explain why they couldn't have seen it, that they did their best, that they can stop it from happening next time. The desperation in the voices is apparent even in writing, shouldn't they know? How can they not see this happening? How could they let the bullying go so far?
This post doesn't really have a point except to say how sorry and saddened I am to hear that Pheobe Prince committed suicide. In the wake of this news I have to confess to a measure of hopelessness and pessimism. I listened to a guidance counselor from Howard Bishop Middle School in Gainesville talk about the measures in effect to prevent such a thing from happening here and I was struck by how futile it sounded to me. Encouraging students to report bullying, anonymous tip boxes, warnings for and disciplinary actions taken against reported bullies - it all seems...well...like something that a bully would mock. Admittedly these are good measures, they help students to seek support and refuge while setting the standards by which bullies are held accountable for their actions. Yet for all this I can't help but think of those one or two classrooms where bullying just never managed to grab a foothold.
Melba Patillo Beals, one of the nine African American students to integrate Little Rock High School in 1957 writes in her memoir of the "island" that was her French class. This classroom was the one in which the violent, hateful and constant harassment that she endured seemed to magically stop. We all remember this one class from high school or middle school, though most likely not in the drastic and monumental context of integration. It was that one teacher who you just knew not to mess with. You probably still even remember their names, I do. Maybe it is these teachers we need to look to, these teachers whose methods and attitudes manage to create pockets of peace and respect in the midst of chaotic adolescence.
4 comments:
Great, thoughtful post, Anna, although I think Phoebe died in January. I wonder, where were the parents in all of this. Surely those horrid bullies must have spoken of this around home, or acted similarly toward siblings, relatives. I feel that if the parents were aware of this behavior and did nothing, they should be responsible, if not criminally, at least in a civil suit.
I agree it is terribly sad. I suppose, my question is - if the current attempts are futile, what are some alternatives? Naturally, we all want to kick the shit out of all bullies. That said, in today's climate, many schools would get sued for proper punishment.
i don't necessarily think that the attempts to stop bullying in public schools are futile, it just frustrates me to see everyone pointing at the school and saying, YOU! Ever hear the phrase "it takes a village?" Yes, the teachers and administrators should be held accountable for closing their eyes, but so should the kids (lets face it, by high school you damn well know better) the parents and the community as a whole.
Gotcha. I do feel schools are so legally limited these days that it puts them in a very tough spot. In severe cases such as this, I am disappointed nearly to the point of sickness in the other classmates. Surely, many of them knew what was occuring and they didn't have the guts or human decency to step in. I'll dress up like a ninja turtle and go vigilante if this ever happens to Mia.
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