So-Much-to-Say is not a rebel....sigh....

Overall I would say that I am a fan of the quirky, happy-go lucky peeps who roll with two different sized tires and keep my day to day life from becoming mundane. In truth, I wish that I was more idiosyncratic. Or maybe I just wish that my idiosyncrasies were cute and endearing enough for public consumption. Sadly – every time I straighten my hair, put on a pair of GAP khakis and a white button down shirt and roll out to my 8-5 job I am struck by the futility of that thought. But I digress.

There was a lady in my Zumba class once – Pink Lady. Pink Lady started about 3 months after the class started, so combine noobie-ness with a knee prosthesis and a complete disregard of rhythm, and you have something truly spectacular. But I liked Pink Lady. I liked how when we shuffled to the left, she flailed to the front. When we gyrated to the back, she flailed to the right. She only really had one move (a move that didn’t really resemble any dancing that I’ve ever seen before,) but damned if she didn’t work that move to the max! She truly was a testament to people who “dancing to their own drum.” I don’t know exactly what drum she was listening to, but she was having a fabulous time doing it.

Flash forward to last night at the gym and enter Camel-Toe-Shorts Lady. Much like Pink Lady, Camel-Toe-Shorts Lady marches very much to the beat of her own drum. While the rest of the class is punching, kicking and jumping to the rhythm of the music, Camel-Toe-Shorts Lady is also punching, kicking and jumping, just at about 1/3 of the speed of everyone else. Now, I give her mad props for being there at all and I recognize the bitchyness of resenting her out of sequence self but doooood! She’s not a noobie and I’m actually pretty sure that she knows that she’s supposed to be going faster, she just really doesn’t care. Perhaps it’s the sweat combined with oxygen deprivation during class that so unexpectedly provokes my ire, but whereas I have a soft spot for Pink Lady, I'm just annoyed by Camel-Toe-Shorts lady.

I get that you can go whatever speed you want, but must you buck the trend in the very front when off to the side would do just fine, not to mention decrease the chances of someone accidentally kicking you in the head because you’re still squatting while the rest of us have moved on to kicking? She’s really no different from Pink Lady – just movin’ to her own little beat, but where as I felt warm and fuzzy to Pink Lady, I feel nothing but cold pricklies for Camel-Toe-Shorts Lady.