Maroon5 me on a desert island with Adam Levine please!

I developed my first rock star crush five years ago at a Foo Fighters concert in Tampa.  Before the concert I'd limited my crushes to pretty boys like Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew Fox and Freddy Prinze Jr.  I blame private school. I went in to the concert a mediocre fan (at best) and left with a raging desire to jump the dirty, probably a little smelly, long haired gremlin who had just sung an acoustic version of Everlong.  Nothing quite like watching a man smoke a cigarette through a nostril right before killing Monkey Wrench to knock the private school out of the girl. 

Yes Please

Well shove over Dave Grohl, I have tired of how stubbornly you have remained happily married (because clearly it's your married status that makes you unattainable), and you've been replaced by the single talented new man of my dreams: Adam Levine. 

Two weeks ago, on an afternoon coffee run at work, my friend Christine was all: "hey, I have an extra ticket to Maroon 5 on April 1st, do you want to go?"  And I was all: "do bears poop in the woods?"  I make it a personal life policy to never miss out on concerts, especially when nice people invite you.

So my badass self said "eff it!" to work and stats class (and by "eff it" I mean that I requested the day off from work in advance and emailed my teacher ahead of time and apologized for missing class; there's only so much private school you can take out of the girl.)  Two words: worth. it.  We were crazy close to the main stage (thank you Christine!) and wicked close to the floating, mini-stage.

 

So here's the thing about Adam Levine, he's way less dirty than Dave Grohl (I know, but bear with me) but the guy has charisma just pouring out of him.  Apparently I'm a crazy commie, hippie, socialist-Marxist for having missed this before now but I'm a better late then never kind of girl.

Adam Levine's butt...because I can't help myself

I took several minutes to tear myself away from taking pictures of real-live-Adam-Levine booty, but when I did I realized that there was surprisingly little security between me and Mr. Lavine.  So little in fact that one good jump and I could have turned a visual, auditory treat into a much more hands on experience.  In my head I was all:

YOLO!!

Unfortunately, the same common sense of reality that tells us "only send a nudie pic if you're REALLY sure you don't want to run for public office" told me that however absent security seemed...they're sneaky mother fuckers who'd probably manage tackle and cuff my ass faster than a fat kid (me) can eat a doughnut.

I immediately regret that decision

So I did the mature thing, considered how getting arrested for assault could seriously derail my current life trajectory and decided that a little Adam Levine sweat probably wouldn't be worth it. Plus they'd probably make me wash my hands then it'd all have been for naught.   And so the list of things that by not doing in my early twenties, I've officially missed the boat for, gets one item longer.  The nose piercing and pink hair is probably for the best, not tackling Adam Levine? Le sigh.

Never the less, Maroon 5 (the whole band) is amazing live.  Neon Tree's opened and if nothing else, you should go just to see their drummer. She not only kills the drums but manages to sing at the same time.  It's one of the more impressive things I've seen in my concert going life, that girl is amazing. It' was a great night and it goes down as one more great memory for the books. :-)