I'm back!

Have you missed me?!  I hate it when my life gets so nutty that I can’t and/or don’t want to write anything at all, much less proofread it for spelling and grammar errors and post it on the internet. With the addition of classes these last nine months, my life qualifies as beyond nuts.  Add in that there were parts of my life that I felt as if I shouldn’t be posting on the internet that it got difficult to write and I just threw in the towel for a few months. How do you write about your life when you feel obligated to hide parts of it? 

I’ve been single now for almost a year and a half and up until this point, I’ve refrained from posting the more entertaining aspects of this single life because a certain ex-boyfriend was still a friend and I worried about inflicting unnecessary hurt or sadness.  It might be my blog and the internet may be a free forum but those of us who post our lives for all to see are still responsible for the things that we put out into the world.  I know that I’ve unintentionally hurt people with things that I’ve written and so I try to ask myself before I post: is it kind? Kindness isn’t a very a tall order especially when its someone you care about and I wanted to take whatever road would keep him in my life as a friend. You can pick whatever road you want but when it gets rocky you may very well find yourself walking down it alone.

My personal road got REALLY rocky last month.  I’m sorry to be vague but you’re just going to have to trust that about a month ago my life got turned upside down and at times I’ve had to look reeeeally hard just to recognize it.  I am rarely, truly down for the count but I have been and as I’ve been climbing out of the valley, I’ve had to face some very real truths. 

Truth: There’s nothing like being truly down and out to find out who your real friends are.  It’s nuts (or insanely lucky) that I saved this lesson for 29 but there it is.  A few people who I previously considered to be “true blue” have somewhat disappointingly faded out but far more heartwarming has been the so very many people who were there before I even thought to ask and haven’t budged since.  It’s challenging at times not to focus on the losses (hey, it still stings) but since we are speaking of truths:  losses notwithstanding, I am beyond blessed to be surrounded by amazing people.

Truth: Once somebody shows you who they are, what their priorities are or what kind of friend they are, no amount of arguing or trying to make them feel bad for letting you down will make you feel better.  There are certain things that can’t (or shouldn’t) be unseen and there comes a point where you should just walk away.  

Truth: this might be redundant but it bears repeating, I have SO MANY amazing, wonderful, warm, loving and supportive friends.  With an arsenal like that, it might hurt to walk away from the not so great ones but it’s not hard.

Back to my point: I am free from my emotional obligations (both real and imagined) to hide my okay-ness (or not so okay-ness as the case may be), AND my classes this semester are not quite to all-encompassing as they have been in semesters past.  So, what does all this garment-tearing, tear-soaked, soul-searching mean for you my loyal readers who have been suffering in the silence of the last six months?  It means the return of…..dating stories! Okay fine, it just means the return of the blog period, including some dating stories here and there.  They’re being told a little bit in retrospect but don’t you worry, time may dull the pain of loss but it certainly has not dulled some of the more fan-damn-tastic details of the last six months.